So Much Love!

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Life BC (Before Carlo) was fun and full of highs!

As a busy PR girl I was always on the go, working overtime in the office, attending social events and spending time with my many friends. Drives in the convertible, long weekends at music festivals and jaunts to Sydney were just some of the regular features in my life.

And yet in the years leading up to the birth of my son something did feel empty. There was fun and there was excitement and probably ‘busyness’ would be a better way to describe my life – but in many ways it was a solitary life.

At age 26 I had been diagnosed with Endometriosis and at age 28 came another diagnosis –  Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome.

I wasn’t shocked really, we always had so much Ovarian Cancer in my family and I had always known my mother to have Endo. I tried with a long term partner to become pregnant but it didn’t work out. So I accepted that I probably wouldn’t be a mum and I tried to take it all in my stride and put motherhood in the back of my mind.

Eventually becoming pregnant was a very happy surprise and having Carlo in 2013 was such a special time.

I won’t sugar coat it – there were many many challenges I faced as a single mum and a parent in general. But those challenges didn’t take away from all the precious ‘firsts’ you experience. I will never forget watching my little guy open his icy blue eyes just moments after he was born, or taking his first steps across the room at 12 months old – unforgettable moments.

They certainly weren’t all the firsts I was expecting. Such as the first time he slept longer than 45 minutes at 6 weeks old and the first time we had to race to Starship Hospital late at night with Carlo passed out in my arms. In the end though the challenging moments become such special memories, because you do your best and you triumph – and that to me counts as a win.

BC might have been fun but AC is The Real Life!

#MumLife

 

 

 

Dear Mummy

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Author – Tui Flemming

The last event I attended before my big operation was the book launch of ‘Dear Mummy, You’re Important Too’. The author Tui Fleming is a passionate writer, career woman and mother of two young daughters.

I first met Tui at Westlake Girls in 1995 and she went on to become our head girl in my final year of College.  Intelligent, warm and driven are the three words I would use to describe Tui. So when she came to me with plans to launch her pending book I was delighted, but not one bit surprised that she had managed to get this project together all on her own.

‘Dear Mummy, You’re Important Too’ is about finding yourself again after becoming a mum. Tui’s perspective is that to be a great mum you need to be a great you.

unnamedI couldn’t agree with Tui more. When we feel together and happy in ourselves our energy reflects onto our little ones and those around us.  And while there are so many parenting ‘self help’ books available, I feel this one is more relevant to today’s busy lives. The focus is on the parent being the best version of themselves and coping with the many challenges of parenting through their own inner strength. Amen!

Here is Tui talking on TVNZ Breakfast, answering some interesting questions about being a mummy and putting yourself first   https://youtu.be/JMSVcX9NkFo

I asked Tui her thoughts on her own life as a busy working mum and she had this to say,

“Work to live, not live to work. I’ve always believed in that philosopy. For me t was never just about money and attainment. Working is about making connections, learning and being inspired. In reverse it’s about teaching, inspiring and developing others.”

“I should also mention ‘guilt’ because working mums feel so much of this. But we needn’t. If you must work to pay then bills, then how about feeling proud of your contribution? If you work because you want to then do it with gusto and enjoy it! Let it fill your cup and fuel you with satisfaction so that when you go home to your family you give them quality, full engagement.”

Food for thought… Tui also posted this inspiring blog post to her site!

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The book is well researched and brings in external influences and learnings for a well balanced read.  It centers around musings, motivations and morsels as key areas to drive your thinking as a mummy. But what I really love about this book is the practicality of the words and advice. This is not a book full of fluff! It’s a book full of great ideas and I think any mum (or parent) would benefit from reading it.

You can find out more about purchasing the book at www.dearmummy.co.nz

Dear Mummy NZ Facebook  community  http://www.facebook.com/dearmummyNZ

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You can sample the free E-Book here:     http://dearmummy.co.nz/shop/ebook/

You can read the blog here:        http://dearmummy.co.nz/blog/

 

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Tui speaking with her panel of career mums

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Media and special guests at the book launch

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Anna Reeve and I at the book launch

 

Pretty In Pink #PinkRibbon

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Photo at the Generator Pink Ribbon Breaky – on my right is Evangelina from NZBCF and in the pink vest is Breast Cancer survivor and BRCA carrier – Karin Horen

Today I was invited to speak at the Generator Pink Ribbon Breakfast. They asked me to share my story about having the BRCA cancer gene and my experience having a double mastectomy.

I was excited to see a few familiar faces in the room and I felt so much warmth and support from people I’d never even met before. It’s times such as these that make me proud to be a Kiwi!

I should also note the strong presence of males in the room. These are men who are brave enough to surround themselves with pink cupcakes and hear chicks talk about boob issues. Good on you boys!

 

They kicked off by playing this video:

http://www.newshub.co.nz/tvshows/story/finding-out-your-cancer-risk-a-hard-fought-battle-2016021119#axzz49ii4L08j

It was weird watching that video back and thinking about the stage I was going through at that point. I was making decisions about my mastectomy and talking to specialists at St Marks. It’s amazing to think how far you can come in just a few months!

Yesterday I sat down to write my story and I wondered where to start? I came to the conclusion that you can only really start at the beginning. So I talked about my first experiences of Breast Cancer as a child – finding out that my mum’s best friend had Breast Cancer and going to see her for the last time. The realization that Cancer isn’t an old person’s illness and that young parents can be taken away.

I went on to talk about losing my father to stomach cancer when he was age 39, and my own mother’s journey with breast cancer. Watching her lose both of her breasts and then the lengthy struggle to stay alive – she has been inspirational to say the least.

The final part was about my own BRCA journey and my experience having a double mastectomy. There’s so much to say about that it’s hard to squeeze into one post.

This morning was tinged with bittersweet feelings. I couldn’t stop thinking about Helena and I realized walking into Generator that it’s the first time I’ve ever been there without her. If those walls could talk! So many parties including numerous breast cancer events, Birthday parties and even a singles party – all with Helena.

It was comforting to have Helena’s husband Christopher at the event today. He never ceases to amaze me with his brave face and total strength of character. Some people deal with a lot in their lives but they always manage to keep on smiling from the inside out.

Now I deserve my pink cupcake!

Kia Kaha

Anna x

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Collecting with Christopher Barton & the Helena gang in 2015

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